The Secret to Having it All? Stop Trying to Do Your Way There
The path to having more doesn’t start with doing more
It might seem counterintuitive, but the path to having more doesn’t start with doing more, it begins with being more. Yes, you read that right. It’s time to flip the script on how we think about achieving our goals and desires.
We've been conditioned to believe that if we just do enough, work hard enough, strive relentlessly enough, we'll eventually have the things we want, which will finally allow us to be happy, content, fulfilled, etc. But, as the Conversations with God series and other spiritual teachings suggest, this is a backwards approach.
The way to “get there” is to “be there.” just be where you choose to get! It’s that simple. There’s nothing you have to do. You want to be happy? Be happy. You want to be wise? Be wise. You want to be love? Be love. That is Who You Are in any event. You are My Beloved.
The Be-Do-Have Paradigm: A Cosmic Misunderstanding
Most people operate under the assumption that having something (more money, a better job, a loving relationship) is a prerequisite for doing something (traveling the world, starting a business, writing a book) which will then lead to being happy, peaceful, content, or loved. This paradigm is so deeply ingrained in our culture that it feels like common sense. We believe, if we only have that thing, then we will finally do what we want, and finally be who we want to be. We're constantly striving to acquire, achieve, and accomplish, hoping that these external changes will somehow transform our internal state.
But according to the wisdom shared in Conversations with God, this is a fundamental misunderstanding of how the universe operates.... The true creative process works in the opposite direction. As the material puts it: "In the universe as it really is (as opposed to how you think it is), 'havingness' does not produce 'beingness,' but the other way around".
First you “be” the thing called “happy” (or “knowing,” or “wise,” or “compassionate,” or whatever); then you start “doing” things from this place of being-ness—and soon you discover that what you are doing winds up bringing you the things you’ve always wanted to “have.”
The Correct Paradigm: Be-Do-Have
The universe doesn’t work from the outside in; it works from the inside out.... It's not that having produces being, but that being produces having. The correct paradigm, is Be-Do-Have. We must begin with the being, then that being will drive the doing, and the doing will inevitably bring the having.... Here's how it works:
Be: This is where it all begins. Instead of focusing on what you want to have, focus on who you want to be. Cultivate the qualities, states of being, and emotions you desire to experience. Do you want to be happy? Then be happy. Do you want to be loving? Then be loving. Do you wish to be wise? Then choose to be wise. As the source material points out "In life, you do not have to do anything. It is all a question of what you are being."
Do: Once you've chosen who to be, then start acting from that place. When you operate from a state of joy, your actions will be driven by joy. When you live from a place of love, your actions will be those of love.... Your actions, your doing, will become a natural outflow of your being.
Have: The universe will respond to your vibration, your state of being, bringing you the experiences and things that align with it. When you embody the state of being you desire, that which you seek will flow to you.... The having becomes a natural consequence of your being and your doing.
Have I not told you that I will communicate with you in many ways—an article in a three-month-old magazine at the hair-styling salon, a chance utterance by a friend, the lyrics to the next song you hear? It is through these kinds of continuing “conversations with God” that I send you My eternal message: your survival is guaranteed. The question is not whether you will survive, but what shall be your experience while you are surviving? You are answering that question now, in what you call this lifetime, and what you call the next. For what you experience in the next lifetime can only be a reflection of what you have created in this lifetime, because, in truth, there is only One Everlasting Life, with each moment creating the next.
Why the Traditional Paradigm Fails
When we chase "having," we are usually focusing on the external and material things. This places our happiness and fulfillment outside of ourselves, making it dependent on external circumstances. And so we become trapped in a cycle of endless wanting.... We believe, once we get that thing, or achieve that goal, that we will finally be happy, but it is a never-ending cycle.
This approach also puts off our desired state of being. We tell ourselves that we will be happy, or peaceful, or fulfilled, or in love, once we achieve some external goal. This delays any experience of the very state of being that we seek, making us chase an ever-retreating horizon....
I have a favor to ask of You. Anything. Ask, and you shall receive.
Practical Applications
So how do we shift from the old paradigm to the Be-Do-Have paradigm? It requires conscious effort and a willingness to change how you approach life. Here are some actionable steps:
•Identify Your Desired State of Being: Start by clarifying what you truly want to be. Don’t just think about the things you want to have. Think about how you want to feel. Do you wish to be peaceful, joyful, abundant, loving, compassionate, creative, wise? Identify the states of being that are most important to you. For example, if you wish to have financial freedom, consider the being of someone who is financially free; What are their qualities? How do they feel? How do they act?
•Embody Your Desired State of Being: Now that you’ve identified your desired state of being, actively choose to embody those qualities. You want to feel peace? Then choose to be peaceful. Take some time to meditate, engage in mindful breathing, or spend time in nature. If you desire to be more loving, practice kindness and compassion. Be patient and understanding. Find ways to express love to yourself and others, remembering that "love is Who You Are, and who you have always been.". Act as if you already are the person you wish to be. As the sources suggest: "To “know that you know, act as if you do.”
And do not worry that then there will not be enough of “what you are not” left to create a contextual field within which to experience Who You Really Are. The whole Universe is your contextual field! All of your memory, as well. The elders and the wise among you often exhort you to erect monuments, to create special days and solemn rituals to commemorate your past—your wars, your holocausts, and all your moments of dis-grace. Why commemorate these? you may ask. Why keep bringing up the past? And those elders will say, “Lest we forget.” Their advice is more sound than you know, for in creating a contextual field in memory, you make it unnecessary to do so in the present moment. You truly can say “Never again,” and mean it. And in declaring this, you use your moments of dis-grace to create moments of grace.
•Act From Your Desired State of Being: Once you start embodying your desired state of being, let it guide your actions. When you are acting from a place of love, your actions will be loving. If you act from a state of joy, your activities will be joyful. Let your beingness guide you. Stop focusing on trying to "do" your way into a desired state of being, but rather, let your state of being guide your doing.
•Release Attachment to Outcomes: This is a crucial step. Trust that as you embody your desired state of being and act from that place, the universe will respond by bringing you the appropriate experiences and things. Do not get hung up on the "having". The universe will respond to the energy you are putting out. Be open and receptive. As the material says, "There’s enough. There’s enough of everything you think you need to be happy. There’s enough time, there’s enough money, there’s enough food, there’s enough love. . . all you have to do is share it.". Focus on being a source of what you seek.
There’s Enough, you will have given yourself a big clue on how you may apply the First Point, We are all One, if you choose. What does there’s enough mean? Exactly what it says. There’s Enough. There’s enough of everything you think you need to be happy. There’s enough time, there’s enough money, there’s enough food, there’s enough love. . . all you have to do is share it. I have given you plenty. There’s enough for all of you. When you live this truth, when you make it a functional part of your reality, there is nothing you are unwilling to share, nothing you seek to hoard—certainly not love, or food, or money. Does that mean we ought not to gather wealth? There is a difference between choosing to have something and choosing to hoard it. In fact, only when you know the truth that “there’s enough” can you easily have any of the good things in life that you, yourself, would choose.
•Practice Gratitude: Gratitude is a powerful tool for shifting your focus from what you lack to what you already have and from what you are becoming. This is where the present moment can be celebrated, instead of being viewed as an impediment. Cultivate a daily practice of acknowledging the blessings in your life. Gratitude will help you recognize that you already have the seeds of what you desire, and it helps you to be present in your desired state of being.
My dearest beings—I have always been in your hearts. I am only glad you can now actually feel Me there. I have always been with you. I have never left you. I am you, and you are Me, and We shall never be separated, ever, because that is not possible.
Yet on some days I feel so terribly alone. At some moments I feel that I am fighting this battle by myself.
That’s because you have left Me, My child. You have abandoned your awareness of Me. Yet where there is awareness of Me, you can never be alone.
How can I stay in my awareness?
Bring your awareness to others. Not by proselytizing, but by example. Be the source of the love which I Am in the lives of all others. For that which you give to others, you give to yourself. Because there is only One of Us.
•Be Patient and Persistent: This is a life-long journey, not a quick fix. There will be moments when you will lose sight of your desired state of being. It's okay. Just recommit and return to the practice.... Transformation is not an event, it is a process.
Be the source. Whatever you want to experience in yourself, You have said, be the source of it in the lives of others. Yes. This is the great secret. This is the sacred wisdom. Do unto others as you would have it done unto you. All of your problems, all of your conflicts, all of your difficulties in creating a life on your planet of peace and joy are based in your failure to understand this simple instruction, and to follow it.
•Embrace the Silence: Take some time each day for quiet reflection and contemplation. This is a way to connect with your true self and with the divine.... In the silence, you may more easily access your inner wisdom and the knowledge that you already have what you seek....
Simply move through your life as if everyone, and indeed, everything, is an extension of you. Treat all other people as if they were part of you. Treat all other things the same way.
Connecting with Other Teachings
This concept of "being" as the foundation of creation is echoed in other spiritual traditions. For example, A Course in Miracles emphasizes the importance of choosing to speak from the spirit, not the ego, which is to say choosing love over fear. This choice of state of being will dramatically affect your doing, and your having.
You can speak from the spirit or from the ego, as you choose. If you speak from spirit you have chosen to “Be still and know that I am God.” These words are inspired because they reflect knowledge. If you speak from the ego you are disclaiming knowledge instead of affirming it, and are thus dis-spiriting yourself. Do not embark on useless journeys, because they are indeed in vain. The ego may desire them, but spirit cannot embark on them because it is forever unwilling to depart from its Foundation. ACM
Additionally, these ideas align with the concept of "living in the present moment." When we are focused on the present moment, we are much more likely to experience our desired state of being. If we are constantly chasing some future "having", we are likely to be less present in our state of being.
The Power of Choice
The Conversations with God series stresses that we are all co-creators of our reality. We have the power to choose our state of being and create the experiences we desire.... As the sources say, “You are both the creator and the created, as am I.". The key is to move beyond the illusion of external sources, recognize that we already are what we seek, and then choose to live from that space.
Bring the blessing and the joy and the heaven in. For thine is the Kingdom and the power and the glory, forever. I would not tell this to you if it were not so.
It's Time to Step Into Your Power
You are not a human doing, you are a human being5. The doing should spring from the being, not the other way around. When we align our being with our true nature (Love, Joy, Peace, Wisdom, Abundance), our actions will flow effortlessly from that place, and the universe will respond by bringing us the experiences and things that reflect that state.... This is the promise. This is how it works.
It's time to stop chasing external goals hoping they will somehow magically change our internal state. It’s time to step into your power, choose your state of being, and live from that space. When we do so, we'll find that we already have everything we've ever wanted. The source material makes it clear: "You are already what you seek to be. There is nothing that you have to do.". What are you choosing?
But—may I argue with You a bit here?—I thought You said that there was “nothing we have to do.”
I did say that, and there isn’t.
So what are we talking about here? Isn’t “carrying the message” something that I am doing?
No. It is something you are “being.” You cannot do the message, but only be the message, for you are not a human doing, you are a human being. You carry the message as you, not with you. You are the message! This is your spirituality in action. Do you not see that? Your message is your life, lived. You spread the word that you are. Is it not written: And the Word was made flesh?
Yes, but is this what that meant? Yes. How can I know that? I mean, for sure.
You have My word. You have My word, in you. You are, quite literally, the Word of God, made flesh. Now, say but the word, and your soul shall be healed. Speak the word, live the word, be the word. In a word, be God.
Oh, my word.
Exactly. That is exactly right.
Is that where this is going? I’m supposed to be You?
You are not “supposed to be,” you are. I’m not asking you to do anything, I’m telling you Who You Really Are. You are already what you seek to be. There is nothing that you have to do. And that is the Third Point in the Holy Wisdom Trinity.
But if I go out and try to act like God, people will think that I’m crazy.
They’ll think you’re crazy for being totally joyful, totally loving, totally accepting, totally blessing, and totally grateful?
A Few More Actionable Items:
Create a "Being" Affirmation: Develop a daily affirmation that reflects the qualities you want to embody. For instance, "I am peaceful and joyful," or "I am a powerful, loving creator." Repeat it regularly throughout your day
Practice Mindful Actions: As you go about your day, be conscious of your actions and ensure they reflect the being you are choosing. Are your actions loving, generous, kind, compassionate? If not, choose differently
Seek Out Positive Influences: Spend time with people who embody the states of being you desire. Read books and watch movies that uplift and inspire you. Be mindful of what you are feeding your mind
Be a Source of Love: Look for ways to give love, kindness, compassion to the world, to others, and especially to yourself. Remember that what you do to others, you are doing to yourself...
You are on a journey to mastery, and now it is time to get on with it. Embrace the holy moment. This is My message, and there is more. Be in the world, do not ignore it. Spirituality does not have to mean finding a cave and hiding out forever. Be in your world but not of it. Live with the Illusion, not within it. Yet do not abandon it, do not retreat from the world. That is not the way to create a better world, and it is not the way to experience the grandest part of you. Remember that the world was created for you so that you might have a context within which to experience yourself as Who You Really Are. Now is the time to do that. The world you have created may soon be uncreated by the lot of you if you ignore that world much longer, allowing it to go its way while you go yours, involved only in your own day-to-day experiences, and playing little part in seeking to co-create the larger experiences around you. Look at the world around you. Feel your passion. Let it tell you what part of the world around you that you wish to recreate anew. Then use the tools you have been given to begin that re-creation. Use the tools of your own society: the tools of religion, education, politics, economics, and spirituality. You can make statements with these tools, statements of Who You Are. Do not imagine that spirituality and politics do not mix. Politics is spirituality, demonstrated. Do not imagine that economics has nothing to do with spirituality. Your economy reveals your spirituality. Do not think that education and spirituality can, or should, be separate. For what you teach is who you are—and if that is not spirituality, then what is? And do not imagine that religion and spirituality are not one and the same. Spirituality is that which builds a bridge between the body, the mind, and the soul. All true religions build a bridge, not a wall. So be the builder of bridges. Close the gaps that have formed between religions, between cultures, between races, and between nations, join together what has been put asunder. Honor your home in the Universe, and be its good steward. Protect your environment and save it. Renew your resources and share them. Give glory to your God by giving glory to each other. See God in everyone and help everyone see God in themselves. End your divisions and your rivalries, your competitions and your battles, your wars and all your killing forever. End it. Put an end to it. All civilized societies finally do. This is My message to you, and more. If you truly desire to experience the world of your highest imagining, then you must love unconditionally, share freely, communicate openly, and create cooperatively. There can be no hidden agendas, no limitations on love, no withholding of anything. You must decide that you truly are all One, that what is good for another is good for you, that what is bad for another is bad for you, that what you do for another you do for yourself, and that what you do not do for another you do not do for yourself. Is it possible for you to act like this? Are human beings capable of such splendor? Yes. I tell you yes, and yes, and a thousand times, yes!
Conclusion
The journey to a fulfilling life is not about chasing "having," it’s about embracing our true being.... By flipping the paradigm and operating from the "Be-Do-Have" principle, we can finally step into the flow of life, and bring forth our greatest potential. Remember, "There’s nothing I have to have, there’s nothing I have to do, and there’s nothing I have to be, except exactly what I’m being right now."
This is your moment. This is your life. What are you being right now?